03CAS - MOSCOW
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Shot by Cas and Jiggy
Edited by Cas
Produced by rapsody3000
Mixed by Ade Hakim
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On Your First Birthday with a Disembodied Father by Caitlin Mathey
It feels terrible, to be excited. It feels awful to dream.
Shoulders high and frightened, I can feel the knot in your neck,
“Where will it come from?
Who will wail next? Which corner will I find it hiding,
Did you look beneath the bed?”
But we never look and we get ill, instead. I think it will be dusty at my death.
Remember how you put lotion on his elbows? A few days before.
He was ashy. You were mean, teased it was eczema. “No,
you see,
when I’m drawing
I
lean
on this elbow.”
And he was right, the other smooth. Strong wrists from making heaps,
Flesh in strokes and words exposed you